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For many career-driven singles, professional success is bittersweet, as it often comes at the cost of finding love or building a family. Those who achieve success in their professional lives may not be as fortunate in their personal ones, and often face loneliness as they struggle with romantic relationships. Even if their lives look good on paper, they may lack some of the necessary skills to find and maintain a long-term partnership.

In other words: if you are successful but lonely, you’re not alone.
In recent years, loneliness has swept through America like an epidemic. According to a 2018 Cigna study, nearly half of all Americans report sometimes or even always feeling alone (46%) or left out (47%), which contributes to the fact that scarcely more than half (53%) of all Americans have meaningful, in-personal social interactions every day. Four in ten people (43%) believe that their relationships aren’t meaningful and feel isolated from others. And two in ten almost never feel close to anyone at all (20%) and report having no one to talk to (18%).

Beyond its mental costs, loneliness also takes its toll on the body. Even if you pride yourself on staying in peak physical condition—working out every morning before heading to the office, guzzling sixty-four ounces of water by lunchtime, and diligently counting both calories and steps—loneliness could be negatively impacting your health. In fact, according to the federal Health Resources and Services Administration, loneliness is as detrimental to your health as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.

The Study of Adult Development at Harvard Medical School came to similarly conclusive results after a 75-year longitudinal study of 724 adults. The head of the study, Robert J. Waldinger, says, “The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.” It’s no coincidence that Generation Z is the loneliest generation on record, and also reports worse health than previous generations.

Unfortunately, success doesn’t shield you from loneliness. In fact, it may be contributing to it. According to social psychologist Neal J. Roese, meaningful personal relationships often erode when someone is pursuing a high-intensity career. Although achieving professional goals pays off in the short term, Roese reports that people often regret sacrificing these relationships, despite their success, and that loneliness has contributed to problems they face with illness and acute stress response.

So, what can you do?
You might be tempted to approach your loneliness the same way you approach many things in life: from a business standpoint. However, when it comes to personal bonds, a business mindset is at odds with the meaningful relationships that you are trying to build. As therapist Dr. Chris Donaghue notes, business values and healthy relationship values differ wildly, as business tends to prioritize rationality and productivity over emotion—in other words, you’re going to need to drastically rethink your mindset if you want to build lasting relationships.

However, it’s not impossible. As Donaghue says, “The person who built an empire must unlearn much of what made them so successful if they want their relationship to work.”

But you can unlearn it, and your relationship can work.

It might just require a little help to tweak your thinking.